RaBzo

i feel like running away..
run away from everything..
urgh
my mind is cluttered
i've sinned too much for allah to help me
i've sinned too much to Him

With Lots of love from me...1:14 AM

haish
i dont know wad is wrong with me
i am never contented

With Lots of love from me...1:04 AM

heyy
just here to write
i miss my besties
i really really do
to think that i am the one at fault for the last meet up
i cant really complain
since everyone is tight on schedule

hmm i had a talk with a fren yuzhe
and he made me realise that i can have a fighting chance to go for honors if i do change my major
even if its not a first class
maybe i should

With Lots of love from me...12:04 PM

hellooo
i am bored.
now in physics lecture
feeling lethargic and unfocussed.
bleargh
look at what i did instead with my web cam

and kana got involved in the camwhore-ing

and then....

it became the most interesting lecture

P.S. despite everything, I am feeling rather irritated and mood swingy and volatile and ready to explode right now. pissed off. realised i cannot study with anyone's presence.

P.P.S. oh abangku sayang, you are wasting too much money on me. i feel bad

With Lots of love from me...10:57 AM

argh i feel so disappointed in myself
i hate myself
for not being understanding for someone important to me
i talk about caring
i talk about love
but i couldnt do one thing for that someone
due to my own selfish reasons
i return honey with poison
instead i hurt the person with my words
as usual
i dont know how is all this going to end
i keep on hurting the person
i hate myself

With Lots of love from me...9:39 AM

argh i am confused
feel like smacking my head somewhere
I am torn
haish
which should i pick?
rational or love?
i don't know
Allah please help me

With Lots of love from me...11:54 PM

these few days...
though i got bully you sometimes
ok, most of the time
and sometimes quite abusive...
heh. marah-marah pukul-pukul sayang lah katakan..hee
you never fail me
you were there when i just needed someone
even if its just hearing my breathing on the phone for a long time
since i dont want to talk
thank you
thank you for sharing your thoughts
thank you for listening to my rambles
thank you for helping me manage
everything
even my finance
thank you
Allah is rewarding me so much more than the good i've done in my whole lifetime
i love you.
these few days,
its been more rewarding than usual
the talk at vivo starbucks..
the scorching walk to mendaki
just watching you eat
I thank Allah for every moment spent with you
I thank Allah for bringing you to me
thank you, Allah
honey,
i know i had hurt u alot with my words
i did not intend it to be that way
i love you.
forever
eternally
insyaallah

With Lots of love from me...9:12 PM

well i gotta say something
i hate it if someone make me do something that i dun want to do
like forcing me to
and pestering me to
i would do it voluntarily ok if i want to
at my own time
stop it lah ok
i have my own interests to keep up on and my own things to do
so butt off

im sorry i made you cry
im sorry for leaving u behind
im sorry for always hurting u
im sorry for everything i've done
when u treat me like a princess
i din ignore u without reason
i just at that moment cant make myself look at you as i was dealing with a lot of mixed thoughts inside
im fighting my inner evil green demon inside
you're always there with me and for me
you spent the days with me when u can with others
you watched e eclipse with me and not the other
i shud have realised that i was the privileged one to be with u
how could i tink otherwise?
i am not worthy of ur precious sacred love darling
i'm being held down by many insecurities
abang,
i go down on my knees
please forgive me
i love you
eternally
i am trying my best to improve
though each day i hurt u with my tactlessness

With Lots of love from me...1:54 AM