hidden

2009-02-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

i feel like running away..
run away from everything..
urgh
my mind is cluttered
i've sinned too much for allah to help me
i've sinned too much to Him

2009-02-27T01:04:00.001+08:00

haish
i dont know wad is wrong with me
i am never contented

2009-02-06T12:04:00.002+08:00

heyy
just here to write
i miss my besties
i really really do
to think that i am the one at fault for the last meet up
i cant really complain
since everyone is tight on schedule

hmm i had a talk with a fren yuzhe
and he made me realise that i can have a fighting chance to go for honors if i do change my major
even if its not a first class
maybe i should

2009-02-02T10:57:00.008+08:00

hellooo
i am bored.
now in physics lecture
feeling lethargic and unfocussed.
bleargh
look at what i did instead with my web cam

and kana got involved in the camwhore-ing

and then....

it became the most interesting lecture

P.S. despite everything, I am feeling rather irritated and mood swingy and volatile and ready to explode right now. pissed off. realised i cannot study with anyone's presence.

P.P.S. oh abangku sayang, you are wasting too much money on me. i feel bad

2009-02-01T09:39:00.002+08:00

argh i feel so disappointed in myself
i hate myself
for not being understanding for someone important to me
i talk about caring
i talk about love
but i couldnt do one thing for that someone
due to my own selfish reasons
i return honey with poison
instead i hurt the person with my words
as usual
i dont know how is all this going to end
i keep on hurting the person
i hate myself

2009-01-30T23:54:00.001+08:00

argh i am confused
feel like smacking my head somewhere
I am torn
haish
which should i pick?
rational or love?
i don't know
Allah please help me

2009-01-28T21:12:00.002+08:00

these few days...
though i got bully you sometimes
ok, most of the time
and sometimes quite abusive...
heh. marah-marah pukul-pukul sayang lah katakan..hee
you never fail me
you were there when i just needed someone
even if its just hearing my breathing on the phone for a long time
since i dont want to talk
thank you
thank you for sharing your thoughts
thank you for listening to my rambles
thank you for helping me manage
everything
even my finance
thank you
Allah is rewarding me so much more than the good i've done in my whole lifetime
i love you.
these few days,
its been more rewarding than usual
the talk at vivo starbucks..
the scorching walk to mendaki
just watching you eat
I thank Allah for every moment spent with you
I thank Allah for bringing you to me
thank you, Allah
honey,
i know i had hurt u alot with my words
i did not intend it to be that way
i love you.
forever
eternally
insyaallah

2009-01-27T01:54:00.002+08:00

well i gotta say something
i hate it if someone make me do something that i dun want to do
like forcing me to
and pestering me to
i would do it voluntarily ok if i want to
at my own time
stop it lah ok
i have my own interests to keep up on and my own things to do
so butt off

im sorry i made you cry
im sorry for leaving u behind
im sorry for always hurting u
im sorry for everything i've done
when u treat me like a princess
i din ignore u without reason
i just at that moment cant make myself look at you as i was dealing with a lot of mixed thoughts inside
im fighting my inner evil green demon inside
you're always there with me and for me
you spent the days with me when u can with others
you watched e eclipse with me and not the other
i shud have realised that i was the privileged one to be with u
how could i tink otherwise?
i am not worthy of ur precious sacred love darling
i'm being held down by many insecurities
abang,
i go down on my knees
please forgive me
i love you
eternally
i am trying my best to improve
though each day i hurt u with my tactlessness

2009-01-23T23:06:00.002+08:00

hey there
i have some points i want to get across
although no one reads my blog,
i just need to write it down
i know
i have heard all those rumors/words spreading about me
about me intervening a perfect relationship
about me stealing him away from the love of his life
if all your words are to hurt me,
congratulations..
it hurts
i always have a way to attract people to talk about me don't I?
but wad the hell,
just need to say something here
u all may view wadever happened unethical
I am being a bitch
if that is wad i am supposed to face to love this man, Luqman Akasyah Bin Zaini,
fine I will accept it
but just hold your tongues
its really none of ur business about wad happened between us
u all talk about religion and ethics
so u all spread these words
and blabber about others
they are ethical and its so by far abide by religion?
fitnah pasal orang digalakkan dalam Islam ke?
for 20 years 1 week and 2 days I have been a muslim,
as for as i know,
fitnah dilaknat Allah.
tak tahu plak kalau Islam dah berubah
kalau gitu, memang hari kiamat dah nak tiba
if wad i did is wrong,
then let me handle my own sins
you all just mind your own sins
why talk about other people's bad sides
when u all have your own dark secrets
don't tell me u are all like angels with no flaws??
BULLSHIT
well, I am not here to preach
I am not perfect myself
and i do admit i have flaws
I am flawed in many many ways
But i do know this one thing,
I love him
I really really do
And I prayed each day to Allah if he's the one for me,
he will be mine someday
if he isn't,
I prayed that Allah would give me the strength to move on
It wasn't in my intention to steal him or wad so ever
if it appears that way,
I am sorry.
All i did was to be there for him when he needed someone.
I did that to ALL my friends
I will try and do my best to be there for all my friends
I swear
and he was my coursemate
he's the only friend in physics i know
i see him everyday
how can i not be there for him?
fine, I do admit that i do have feelings for him
I had since i first laid eyes on him when i was in j1.
but being there for him was because i truly cared about him
and he was my friend
you all have to admit,
if ur friend is down,
no matter wad,
you would be there for them don't you?
I try my best to be there for my friends
even if im not good at helping,
i will always be there for them
I did the same for him
I did
and i always hope that he's happy
even if its not with me
yes, i do secretly hope that he's with me
but if his happiness is with somebody else,
i could accept it
cos i know,
i was not at all his type.
I was lucky i guess
to be loved by this amazing guy
I am not pretty as all his ex-es
I am not nice as them
I am not as good as them
I am no where near being his ideal girl
I KNOW
but i was just damn lucky Allah answered my prayers
(I never prayed that something bad would happen. I prayed that someday, if he's meant to be mine, please let him come to me in the most graceful way. not by stealing him away)
Thank you, Allah for listening to my prayers
even though I am still making a lot of sins in my life
Thank you.
Everytime i look at him, i do feel bad cos he's with me when he's capable of getting much better girls
I was damn lucky i guess
sayang, thank you for loving me
I love this man
i really really do
InsyaAllah, if God permits,
He's the one i wanna spend the rest of my life with
I have never loved anyone like I love him
Allah, I love him.
and with all my heart and sincerity,
i love him
all of u are not the ones i wanna spend the rest of my life with.
I want to spend the rest of my life with him
and with my besties
and my family.
they are all i live for

yeah i know probably that
my relationship started
on a bad note in many people's eyes
i know you all said we're a bad match
but its only for God to decide
if we could last
i know i want to be with him forever
InsyaAllah
but if he doesn't,
or Allah doesn't,
then I guess I have to accept it

Only me, him and my besties know wad really happened
Sorry if this entry cause a lot of anger
I apologise
i am used to people attacking my blog and everything anyway

2009-01-19T18:29:00.004+08:00

hey hey
now in psychology lecture now
argh
din noe got a lot of bio stuffs
i totally cannot digest bio
was NEVER a bio student
argh
sucks
anyway,
i dropped a module
now only 4 modules im taking
schedule is very very packed
2 labs in a week
and e lab reports
and tutorials
they all havent started
and i feel e stress already
wad if i cant even do those physics and math questions
how am i going to survive?
yups
argh im in my angry mode
finding faults with everything
ah i cannot digest any info now lah
maybe go home then ready up again
dots
so thats why im blogging now
miss the besties
i really need to talk
haish
i think i am not managingin NUS
argh
ok ok i shud pull myself up
but everything just seem to clogs up in my brain now
yeah
haish i must work hard
wad if my best is just isnt good enough
realised that i might be e only one among us besties that is
going to graduate without any honors
haish
i am sure saf will do well in her dip and go to uni and honors
haish
i am very disappointed with myself actually
haish
to think that i used to cope very well in school
guess school and uni are very different
nevertheless i will try my best
oh yeah
realised that i am going to lose the scholarship no matter wad
unless i got a CAP of 5.0 this sem
which is a perfect score
and is imposibble
cos its an average of this sem and last sem to be considered in whether i can keep it
and my previous sem sucks that there is no hope
even a 4.5 wun help
haish
have to be mentally prepared

2009-01-16T23:29:00.002+08:00

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll be she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

sayang got my listening to this song
which reminded us of a time not long ago
when things were grey
and my heart ached
though the time has passed(hopefully things will remain rosy),
i do still feel the deep hurt
everynow and then
it will never go away
but
i am very happy now with you, my love
i hope we will be together for eternity
i love you, honey
i really really do

2009-01-14T22:51:00.003+08:00

happy birthday to me! lol
thank you all for the lovely wishes
spent the day with sayang and my bro
sayang treat us to Hei Sushi
since my bro did well for his O levels
he deserve the treat

roses from sayang

sayang.bro

see how much we ate... A LOT

i love you.

2009-01-11T22:55:00.001+08:00

wooots the gals really gave me a surprise today
and im thankful that they includes sayang in it
i love you gals
thanks so much for going through all those troubles just for me
i'm really grateful
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-01-09T11:25:00.002+08:00

ok i have to make a shopping list.
in order of most important to least

1)powder -bodyshop
2)mascara
3)sandals that can wear to school everyday and supposed to match all outfits since my fav shoe was stolen
4)wallet that can put coins also and must be a pretty wallet -have yet to find
5) a book on islam maybe a hadith book or something

then i have to save money for marriage. LOL
that's a joke
but i need to build funds

2009-01-07T14:41:00.000+08:00

grr im damn sian without the gals and the gang. urgh
so bored out of my skin

2009-01-05T22:56:00.003+08:00

dear honey,
i love you.
infinitely

2009-01-04T11:56:00.002+08:00

arghhhhhhhhhhhhh
i so feel like shoppinggggggggggggg
i want a new wallet...
i want a pair of new flats
i want a pair of new sandals
i want a new top
i want something from bodyshop
ok the top can be bought laterr

2009-01-04T11:51:00.001+08:00

bidding sucks
the stress is coming up all over again
how can u be outbid for your own core modules???
then wad can u take ???????
wth

2009-01-01T23:56:00.001+08:00

had dinner with sayang's sibs and their hubby/wifey (01/01/09)
it was at yck...
the food quite good
but i was too full...
they were quite fun
e newly weds blanja
here are some pics

me.bride.sayang's sis
pretty aren't they?
i'm so being overshadowed here

sayang's bro, the groom
really enjoying the AWESOME food

all of us

sayang's sibs

heeee happy new year everyone!!!!
hope this will be a meaningful and happy new year for all of us!

Timetable Builder

2008-12-31T14:40:00.001+08:00

Timetable Builder
this is my timetable. testing

Timetable Builder

2008-12-31T14:40:00.000+08:00

Timetable Builder
this is my timetable. testing

2008-12-29T15:56:00.000+08:00

my killer boots heels...

rau and her cute and entertaining poses...

a job well done on e dance, mr luqman akasyah bin zaini

well... yuppp just watched the nus ilsa's buih-buih sabunnnnn with the gals
hmms
thanks for coming gals
i promise i wun ask anymore favours from u gals

2008-12-26T11:53:00.000+08:00

hmms.
i dont see the point of me updating my blog cos apparently no one reads it anyway
perhaps that would be good
no one reads.
no one to post hatred comments....

2008-12-20T11:48:00.000+08:00

hey hey
i know not many people know that i went off
but jus saying im back in singapore.
yuppp
think e trip was too long
though the moments have been fun with e besties
wish saf was there to complete e group =(
but anyways thanks safff
for everything
miss u
the highlight of the trip was the boat ride for me
heeeee
so fun
more thrilling than the high high cable car
maybe i belong to the water
heeeee
but the cablecar was fun too nevertheless
gosh i missed honey
thanks for coming to pick me up at the airport
appreciate it
anyway you look dashing
took my breath away
heh.
love you.
ever so deeply

2008-12-11T21:21:00.001+08:00

i miss miss him already..
its gonna be a long december =(
cant wait for 28th dec to be over...
miss u baby
gosh i dunno how my bffs survive
they are so strong lah
so much stronger than i am
i must learn from them
i-must-be-independent.
i miss u honey
so so much

2008-12-02T01:23:00.000+08:00

sayang...
i love you so so so much
many many
deep deep
i don't care wad other people say
all i know is that i love you from the very bottom of my heart
and i would do nothing to jeopardize your happiness
miss you

2008-11-12T08:47:00.000+08:00

yeah its e sincerity im looking for i guess
i cannot trust until i could see the sincerity
no matter what
i still have to be careful
cos everything is still uncertain

2008-11-11T21:10:00.001+08:00

hmmmmm
exams coming sooonnnnn
OH MY GOD
wake up girl.
shucks

2008-09-24T12:26:00.000+08:00

WHENEVER YOU CALL (Mariah Carey)

Love wandered inside
Stronger than you
Stronger than I
And now that it has begun
We cannot turn back
We can only turn into one

I wont ever be too far away to feel you
And I wont hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call

And I'm truly inspired
Finding my soul
There in your eyes
And you
Have opened my heart
And lifted me inside
By showing me yourself
Undisguised

And I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call

And I will breathe for you each day
Comfort you through all the pain
Gently kiss your fears away
You can turn to me and cry
Always understand that I
Give you all I am inside

And I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
And be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call
Whenever you call
Whenever you call...

2008-08-31T21:37:00.000+08:00

this is getting so frustrating
physics is hard
hard
shiet
i really need mr lee siew lin and 12a
i dunno how to do tutorials
i cannot survive uni
i am so sorry ayah, ibu and the guys
for disappointing u all

and not only school is getting frustrating
between me and certain ppl also
things are getting sooooo complicated
haish
i dunno wad to say
i guess matters of the heart is not meant to be said into words
or to be understood
stupid me
go and do something stupid

2008-08-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

gosh
its so stressful now
and its only just the beginning. how?
i am beginning to ponder if i have chosen the right major
really...
i mean
everybody knows wad they are doing
and i don't
i am like totally dependent on my course mate
gosh
only allah knows how glad i am to have him around.
but still
i cannot rely on him forever
he will soon get sick of me
i mean it must be a two way thing wad
cant possibly its always him who provides
and i just take
cos there is nothing i can provide him with
my knowledge is sooooo limited
and i dunno physics anymore
god, wad am i turning into.

besides that,
on monday was rau's birthday
happy birthday!
heee
went to surprise her
that was a happy day
yeah!

i need to get a cap of 3.5
i need to
or my scholarship is going to be taken away
how am i supposed to fight through this?
allah
help me

gosh i have never wanted something so bad
allah help me
please...
i dunno wad else i can do

i miss him....

2008-08-10T15:35:00.000+08:00

yesterday was national day
yupp
went to the singapore river there
saw the fireworks.
haha we disturbed that adib wud meet HER when e fireworks started
god knows if its true
lol
miss hakim and adib lah
haish
roach was supposed to join
but i guess he has his godfather's party to attend to
so sad
i miss mr rochester tan like crazy lah!!!!
not going to see him for the next 3 weeks summore
since hes going outfield
*SOBS*
THAT WOULD MEAN 5 WEEKS OF NOT SEEING HIM!!
please lah at least khai is coming back next week
not 5 long weeks!!!

pfftttt..
ok i miss the besties too...
bleargh
i guess its getting harder and harder for us to meet
haish since tmr is the start of school and all
this sucks
i dowan to go to school
i dowan
in fact,
i don't even want to wake up when i sleep
i refuse to wake up
i DONT WANT
wake me up when things are rosy again
cos i cannot face my life.
call me a coward
but i tink ive been drained
there's a blackhole in my heart

2008-08-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

so baby let me try

I wanna make you smile

I wanna love you like you need to be loved

I'll never let you down

I'll always be around

2008-07-28T15:07:00.001+08:00

rau's off to camp
el is so busy
so is saf
and im rotting down here
i dowan to go uni

2008-07-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

hmm
yesterday was the refuge reunion
was ok la
at least i had fun
a bit
playing the swingggg
been a long time...
remembered me and rau was looking for swings a few days ago
so i guess
rau,
next time we go pasir ris park ok?

2008-07-24T21:06:00.001+08:00

hmmmmm
i dunno what else to say
i just feel like doing something

oh yeah
i dunno what's wrong with me today
has been in an emotional turmoil.
i know why am i feeling this way
but i dunno how to get myself out of it
i am getting very hot tempered
and keeping to myself
i just dun feel like mingling or even making friends
and this is so not the correct time to be feeling this way
why?
hello?
i am starting school
i need new friends
i need to make new friends
or i would be a loner
but i am just so not up to it now
i have no mood
gosh where is my gang
i am so missing u guys
i know i have been too quiet lately when hanging out with u guys
i just dunno wad to say to people anymore
in my head there's only one thing
and that's for me to know only
only this thing,
its hurting
but i cannot ever let go of it.
haish
i am just being sooo and too complicated
haish

to khai:
have a safe journey
gonna miss u
the gang is like handicapped without you around.
sms me the instant you reach singapore again ok?

to roach:
before you go outfield,
please tell me
i know OCS keeping u busy
but im missing u badly too
i need you people to be around me on my first day
but i guess i am alone in this

to hakim:
where the hell are you?
u better make sure u are a call away on my first day ok???
i don't care
cos i have this huge feeling that i wud be calling and crying.
i am like this on first days.
so muhammad khabir hakim
i don't care if u are in camp or not
make sure u are a call away
cos baby i need someone
or i will slap u
i mean it.

haha forceful aren't i?

adib:
you know how unreachable hakim is
so u better make sure u are a phone call away ok???
gosh i dunno how to survive without u guys anymore...
dang
i am so not independent at this moment

afiq:
no im not gonna call u
you will just call me a bitch
wait when are u off to brunei??????????
still gonna miss u though

iman:
wait i never talk to u on the phone before
lol
though how close all of us were
oh wells
never mind
i will see you around

elmo:
its ur first day too
good luck girl
for i know you wud be too busy to hear me whine

raudhah:
yupp your first day too
be happy ok girl

safiyah:
i know you are busy.
so i shant be forceful on you.
will only be forceful with the starbucks people
lol
be happy ok??
remember to have enough rest

2008-07-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

here i am
bawling abt my SMALL prob
and to think that my good friends
are facing so much more than me
i feel so useless
ungrateful
whiny
i realised im not strong
i waver with such small prob
and my frens?
they are still rock solid
they rise after a hard fall
and here i am
i cant even pick myself up
goodness me

dear friends,
i know u guys are facing so much now
i am so so so sorry that i am not being a good friend
and be there for u guys
i am so so so sorry
i am just too caught up with myself
i forgot about others.
i am so sorry for not being a good friend
i am so sorry for taking u guys for granted
drag u guys out
anytime i want
and listen to me and only me rattle
i am so so sorry
for i don't deserve wonderful friends like u people

i would also like to thank khai for e mp4
thanks
or im jus gonna die...

2008-07-21T02:25:00.001+08:00

we just got to know each other...
and i feel like i've known u all my life...
but i'm a bit too late aren't i?
things can only be platonic now.
oh well,
i will wait for you.
i promise
for as long as i can wait
unless someone much better comes along..lol

2008-07-16T23:41:00.000+08:00

hmmm
today had a nice day
finally
i went back to the student care centre
yes
i miss those kids
really really miss those kids
i mean when i stepped into the centre
they were all shouting my name
gosh
and the k2s hugged me
i almost cry
i miss those p5s also
we played heartattack
haish
thank you teacher regina for letting me come and visit
cos i really feel the bond with the kids
thank you

2008-07-16T01:28:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't love you but i want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but i can't move
I can't look away
And i dont know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop
Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tryed my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gutta say it all before you go
Just so you know
It's gettin hard to
Be around you
Theres so much i can't say
And do you want me to hide the feelings
And look away
And i dont know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop
Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tryed my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gutta say it all before you go
Just so you know
This emptyness is killin me
I'm wonderin why i've waited so long
Lookin back i realize it was always there to be spoken
Now i'm waitin here
Been waitin here
Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tryed my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gutta say it all before you go
Just so you know

2008-07-14T20:49:00.000+08:00

i really cannot stand this empty holey feeling in my heart
i cannot breathe
literally
my heartbeat is at a rapid speed

2008-07-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

what's the time?
seems it's already morning.
i see the sky, it's so beautiful and blue.
the tv's on but the only thing showing is a picture of you.
oh i get up and make myself some coffee.
i try to read a bit but the story's too thin.
i thank the lord above
that you're not here to see me in this shape i'm in.
spending my time,
watching the days go by.
feeling so small,
i stare at the wall,
hoping that you think of me too.
i'm spending my time.
i try to call but i don't know what to tell you.
i leave a kiss on your answering machine.
oh help me please,
is there someone who can make me wake up from this dream?
spending my time,
watching the days go byfeeling so small,
i stare at the wallhoping that you are missing me too
i´m speending my time, watching the sun go down
i fall asleep to the sound of "Tears of a Clown"a prayer gone blind
i´m spending my time...
my friends keep telling me:
hey, life will go on,time will make sure i will get over you.
this silly game of love - you play, you win only to lose.
i am spending my time, watching the days go by.
feeling so small, i stare at the wall,
hoping that you will think of me too.
i'm spending my time,
watching the sun go down.
i fall asleep to the sound of "tears of a clown,"
a prayer gone blind.
i'm spending my time.

2008-07-12T10:11:00.001+08:00

goshimfreakingscaredneverfeellikethisbeforeimsorestlessidunnoifimhappyorupsetimsoinsecureidunnowhattoexpectimissthispersonsomuchtothinkthatihardlyknowthispersonireallyneedsomelightineedyouimissyousobadbutyouarewayoutofmyleagueohgodpleasehelpme

2008-07-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

ok..
all my life...
ive been searching for perfect songs for different moments
emo, happy, angry
blah blah...
and only now...
i found the perfect song
for this someone
god, please help me
i always dreamed of having the perfect song for a someone
i din noe that my all time favourite song
is the perfect song
to describe everything about you.
so this is the song to you
i dunno
i tink its created for me to love it

and find someone to fit it

maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

And there it goes

I think i've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think i dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason

Only this sense of completion

And in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I'm searching for

I think I've found my way home

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I've found you

I knew I loved you before I met you

I tink i dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

from the bottom of my heart

this song is for you

i tink this might sound crazy

but i never feel so...

i dunno wad to say
Allah,

please..

hear my prayers

2008-07-02T17:55:00.000+08:00

well...
i miss miss elmizah so much
cos shes been away to camp
so yeah saw her todae
gosh miss her so much
really

hmm sorta had a girl talk din we??
haish
life's kinda unpredictable now
let's jus wait and see
mine may be bleak
that doesnt mean urs will
u deserve all the happiness in the world girl
and rau,
i really hope that ur love will be stronger than everrr

2008-06-29T22:43:00.000+08:00

i guess its time for me to get out of the closet...

for my dad...

hmmm

my shopping list :
-that dress i saw
-a backpack
-a tote bag
-lots more of tees
-that everlast shoes

2008-06-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

hmmm
she knows i am so attached to the kids
she knows
she knows that i would miss them badly
how could she ban them from talking to me????
how could she scold them for talking to me???
why??
i miss them so
yes i miss them a lot
yes its my fault for leaving
but
i left not cos of them
i left cause i hate the management
i hate the fact that i was bullied
enough is enough
no matter how attached i am to the kids
i had to leave
i was freaking exhausted
i am hurt
so hurt
cos i do love them
and i miss them
they did give me a sneak phonecall todae
and they all fought and passed e phone around to talk to me
i miss them
i love them
goshhh
my dear darlings
please remember me
teacher rabia do love u all
no matter how hard u guys were being last time

haish
looks like all three of us are missing people arent we?
el.. missing ahem and of course her own kids
rau.. missing her ahem
and there's me... missing my p5s a lot
*sobs*

when i look at it again
my frens are much stronger than me
their problems are much more
and they face it better than me
my probs are minute compared to them...
i salute them
so, i shall try from today onwards
no to whine

2008-06-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

hmm went out with the galfrens today
kinda nice
feel bad though
saf is tired
and rau had to rush
as usual i bully el and drag her around

2008-06-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

gosh my bad luck is like getting worse and worse
first the mia-ing
then my spoilt new hp
then now,
i lost my new mp3
haish
i feel like crying

2008-06-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

ok...sometimes u jus know that you are not important
not anymore.
or not ever
so wads the point
to even bother?
gosh i dunno if i have the stamina to stay like this any longer
please
give me a reason to go on

2008-06-18T23:50:00.001+08:00

oh my oh my
where are you

2008-06-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

hmm bought a bag today
it was love at first sight
really
love love love
saw another shoe
I WANT that shoe
i am so getting that shoe
i will get that shoe tmr
love love love
oh i saw this top
which was love at first sight too
so i grabbed it
love love love
loves!!!!!!!!
goshhhhh

2008-06-18T13:36:00.000+08:00

my handphone! and everything is lost! lost! lost! =( its a very very new hp okkkkkkkkkkk and its spoilttttttttttttt noooooooooooooooooooooooooo my precious infooooooooooooooooo

2008-06-16T22:48:00.000+08:00

and everything is lost

2008-06-14T20:05:00.000+08:00

bye people

2008-06-13T20:40:00.000+08:00

im getting easily pissed nowadays
my blood is boiling
im questioning my existance
i am too bored
bored out of my skin
im gonna pull my hair out
im-sick-of-everything

2008-06-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

well,
i guess
somethings are just too good to be true
i must
i must get over it

2008-06-10T13:09:00.000+08:00

my life sucks.
i cancel everything i said
to u: im sorry.

2008-06-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

ok yesterday, 8th june was saf's bdae!

we ambush her at her house early in the morn to surprise her

haha so we had to wait for awhile to wake her up..

so she greeted us with her air liur basi and all

HAHA kidding
u still look like a princess even early in the morn

while we wait for the bdae gal to open the door...

she finally comes out..

watching the bdae video frm her dear salihin...

her bdae present...

us..

okieee... its adib's bdae too!
happy birthday adib!
for the 7th time.
heh

ok i have some issues which i wud love to talk about
i am utterly disappointed with one of my buddies
yeah
smoking solves everything right?
fine
then u dun need all of us
who are always here for u
u dun see that right?
fine its ur life

oh yeah i have a song.. which i wud love to dedicate to someone

Well you're the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didn't last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we just defied destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldnt understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didn't die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.
And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the Things I do.
And you can't lose what you never had
I don't understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you.
I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let goI can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.
I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let goI can't move on from the past

i duno

2008-06-09T17:33:00.000+08:00

it doesnt matter if i don't see you.
i am still counting the moments and the days till i can finally meet you again
it doesnt matter
cos when i meet you,
i want that moment to be perfect
cos i am improving myself
trying to..

2008-06-07T18:03:00.000+08:00

i tink that u are a figment of my imagination
sometimes
things are just too good to be real

2008-06-05T23:29:00.001+08:00

nacliiiii
hari raya outings

yanmin being bullied at ocs
at class dunno do what
my a level "mugging" at WRL
our latest photo =)
at my pri sch teacher's house

our first three mths class squeezed into a toilet cubicle
elbey being bullied
jin wei being buried
econs lessons
my only pic with azhar which i will definitely keep

ok here i am going thru some random moments...
kinda sad actually
its like i know some of my classmates are going aussie and nz
haish
come to think of it
everyone go their own way now
haish
sad
im very very upset
to think that we were all so close
hmm
everyone splits huh
from primary
to secondary
to jc
and now to uni
haish

2008-06-05T23:04:00.000+08:00

hmmm i need to change for the better
im sick of being me

2008-06-04T22:25:00.000+08:00

ouhhh
i need to add something to the past post
that is most important
i need someone..
someone who wud lead me in the right path of Allah...

2008-05-30T20:19:00.000+08:00

and i love and going to miss those pests
im going to cry

2008-05-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm
i guess adeel is right
i am a quitter and lack of resilience
well,
all i know is that i need rest
and some time to myself

and i wanna thank some people for listening to my rambles
u know who u are
thank you
finally i got a bit of a taste of wad's like to have someone to stand by me
thank you

hmmm
i love the naughty little pests
kids
you love em, you hate em huh

anyway i wanna congratulate my bestie raudhah
for getting ur desired NTU course
i love you girl
i know u can do it
oh wait
u did it
u knock em off their socks didnt you
heee

well,
some people are playing mia with me
i dunno
oh well...
i hope u can accept me for who i am
for i am flawed in many ways
for im scared to know u cos you are too perfect
yet, i want to know you more
i've waited so long to know you
i hope i got my chance

i guess wen people say you cannot forget your first love,
its true
cos i cant forget mine
jus the name melts my heart
but i know
yupp first love doesnt mean its the true love that will last a lifetime

wads up with this love topic?
for one of my buddies have lost his love
cheer up my man
this is ur first love
but this doesnt mean it wud be ur last
for u will learn to love again
if its meant to be, it will be
jus pray to god for wads best for u
remember, im always here for u
and so are the other guys okie?

update:
woo got a nus letter
addressing me as a scholar
never dreamt i cud actually be one
and someone wud actually addressing me a scholar.
"dear scholar..." heh
i mean i already know i got the nus science award scholarship lah
but another letter came in for contract
them addressing me "scholar" was like whoah to me
cos i dunno
i think im dreaming
alhamdullillah
im really greatful to my teachers
and my parents especially my dad who really have confidence in me
which i never did
and of course my friends..
gosh i sound like some miss universe pageant or some oscar award winner
who cares?
thank you allah for hearing my prayers
thank you
and double thank you
cos u answered my prayers for my bestie too.

ok i was bored

see wad i did to our pics

we all suit our covers dun we?

2008-05-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

i guess life can never be fair huh
when u ae always there for people
whenever they need a shoulder
but when its your turn,
everyone disappears on you
you deserve it i guess
cos u suck
yeap accept that fact

2008-05-24T13:59:00.000+08:00

hmm yesterday was innova's college day

talked to mr lee siew lin my physics teacher

wad he told me

make me feel so happy

he told me that he was proud of me
nothing beats that

i was the happiest girl alive.

he told me they were contemplating between me and the other gal for student of the year award

but chose her cos of basketball hot cca

its ok

he told me he was proud of me

thats all that matters to me

I am very happy

he told me i inspired him to teach even more when hes on the verge of letting go

thank you mr lee, thank you mr bryan too!

you guys are truly my inspiration

really

my life in innova is really a big part of me

yuppp

my pride

anyways
yup
if nothing goes wrong
insyaallah
i will be taking physics in NUS in august
thanks to mr lee who really inspired me
insyaallah
and i will doing physics without
my physics mugging buddy

never mind
i will find a new one
HAHA
you can be nonsensical u know hakim
of course i wun forget u guys wen i go uni
love u guys to the core
and its you who dowan to mug like a jug anymore.
HAHA

2008-05-19T01:01:00.001+08:00

i just cannot be bothered anymore. screw everything

2008-05-17T20:45:00.000+08:00

i guess life works in a weird way...
the first moment you laid eyes on a person..
you can jus see yourself with the person for the rest of ur life.
without knowing the person.
you just brushed it off.
cos its jus a glance.
but the person came into the picture of your life
you wait each day of ur life for the next two years to meet the person again
waiting and hoping
your heart thump faster and skip a beat everytime THE name came across your mind
and its still the same even after two years
you don't know
maybe you just see what you want to see
all these things are jus bullshit
yupppppp

heeeeeeeee i sawwwww myyyy damn cute swensens waiter again today
HEEEEEEEEEEEEE
yuppp cute
even el says so.
el, you know i like my things portable and compact.
HAHA

2008-05-12T20:49:00.001+08:00

Please forgive me - I know not what I do
Please forgive me - I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me - this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me - if I need ya like I do
Please believe me - every word I say is true
Please forgive me - I can't stop loving you

bryan adams rocks my socks off

2008-05-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

u know. sometimes u feel all alone in the world?
haish.
you know u will always be there for your friends
no matter what?
no matter what time or when?
you know and you will be there for ur friends?
but then when you are the one in need,
no one is free just to even talk?
to even meet?
to even listen?
even though they promise you to be there for you too?
do you ever feel that way?
well i do

2008-04-29T21:13:00.000+08:00

sometimes coincidences or links appear only wen u force em to
you see wad u wanna see
not e reality
there's bound to be a link between two people
stop thinking its destiny or something
wake up la people
no such thing as meant to be or wad ever shit

2008-04-27T10:21:00.000+08:00

NS is not cool...
they take ur loved ones' time.
they take ur friends' time.
i miss my frens
i miss mr rochester tan
i miss mr muhammad khabir hakim
i miss mr muhammad adib
i miss mr khairul anwar
hmph
im feeling sore

2008-04-24T21:56:00.000+08:00

i guess i know how u feel..
been there done that?
i guess all u haf to do is pray for the best.
cos i will do the same for u too...
haish
i dunno wad to say

2008-04-18T12:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes,
memories are made
not jus by things we experience
but also by things u can never experience in reality
so its jus made in dreams

that's how my memory was made...

2008-04-12T20:14:00.001+08:00

So here i am
nothing to do
thinking of nicholas sparks

2008-04-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

that's all im good at...
complaining..
complaining..
im not good anything...
i only know how to complain abt my job..
my life..
blah blah
but im a good for nothing...

urgh
yes,
im sorry
im not capable of loving
im not
im sorry i freaked out wen the k2s started callin me mummy
i din let em near me
i din let em touch me
i scolded em
to let em hate me
cos i am not capable of loving others
or being loved
or love my job
or even letting ppl near
i only love my family

2008-04-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

sometimes i look at ppl...
sometimes i wonder..
and i sat down to tink..
am i really capable of loving others besides my parents and family?
i dun tink so...
i am not capable of loving others

2008-04-04T21:11:00.001+08:00

bleargh
sometimes friendships are worth more than that

urgh
i can never get my nicholas sparks books
man im gg bankrupt

shit head

2008-03-31T23:20:00.000+08:00

for the love physics..

2008-03-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

sometimes u jus wonder who ur real frens are...
i know mine...
thanks el,rau,saf,kam,ain...
love u gals with all my heart....

2008-03-23T20:18:00.000+08:00

hmm
they say give love with all your heart
if its not returned,
its ok...
you will get better than wad u gif
maybe not now but in e future
they say give all the kindness u can gif
even if it doesnt benefit u,
you are blessed by god
yes i do believe in all these sayings
yes
but sometimes
its jus tiring
to love, to gif kindness with all you can
but all u get in return are jus more and more disappointment
sometimes its hard not to hope for jus a tinge of kindness back
but i guess
disappointment is e only solution u can get.
sometimes u get more than disappointment
you get hurt.

2008-03-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

my wish list:

-get all nicholas sparks books. now i only haf deaR john.
(the choice,at first sight,true believer,three weeks with my bro,the wedding,the guardian,Nights in Rodanthe,A bend in the road,the rescue,a walk to remember,message in a bottle and the notebook.)

heh anyone kind enough?

2008-03-12T18:37:00.000+08:00

sometimes u jus see wad u want to see
u choose to believe it
but obviously u are delusional
and u can't accept the truth
the truth is not what u want to see
so u chose not to see it
wake up
reality is not so beautiful

2008-03-09T21:45:00.001+08:00

headache.headache.headache
i dowan work anymore
im not in e mood
shucks

2008-03-08T01:18:00.000+08:00

some ppl jus dun care
you shud get the hint
that you are jus not important

2008-03-02T19:50:00.000+08:00

yesterdae went to watch the leap years with my darlings
yup
and then had dinner
sorry gals u gals had to wait for my decision on the menu
but overall,
i did haf a good time
love the movie
yeap
ananda everingham
gosh gosh
he took my breath away
duhhh
loved him since shutter
hehehehhehe

gosh i dunno wad's happening to me
pls
urgh
i duno
i really dunno

actually i really find the movie inspirational
a lot of the love principles tt i believed in
is mentioned in there
yeap
kinda nice
oh did i mention i love the hero?
i love him! lol

2008-02-23T12:02:00.000+08:00

woots

finally got to go out last nite

finally out of this neighbourhood

finally doin something tts out of my recent routine

finally i had a nice breather

finally

well,

went out after work last nite

went to watch a hockey game at delta
yeap
its NS police vs safsa (the army)
went to watch hakim and all

playing for police

not a bad game arh

except i got agitated with some army guy

who act big

BLEARGH

feel like stuffing his mouth with my hp and gag him
roach got irritated too
well,

it was a good game

haha my first time watching a real hockey game

usually i jus watch

hakim, iman,adib,roach and afiq train

i felt a lil bit free

wooo

miss u guys

ouh something came crashing

results coming out soon

i cannot accept the fact

i cannot face the fact

i dowan go collect results

god please help me

its amazing to see ur parents like a pair of teenagers
smsing practically every min to each other

every waking moment

every sleepin moment
despite being on two diff sides of e world
despite the 13 hours time diff
like a pair of teenagers
experiencing first love
its surprising tt i actually understood
its surprising tt i cud say 'i understand, ive been thru tt'
its shocking

tt i experienced it before em

at least theirs was sweeter

2008-02-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

I finally understand

you do not need to mention a word

i understood

i can tell

by your actions

i can tell

by your act

i can tell

that you ARE not different

I hate to admit

I was right

2008-02-16T20:32:00.000+08:00

Dear diary,

I would like to say this

I love you,
Ayah, Ibu, my family, my extended family
Siti Raudhah, Nur Elmizah, Safiyah Salmi,
Kamielah, Nurul Ain, Lai Yu'an,
Jayaram Venu Gobalan Naidu, Elizabeth Law, Rochester Tan
Lim Chia Haw, Wong Wen Kang, Maung Zan Wai Yanmin,
Lee Jin Wei,Elbert Low, Liang Huijun, Siti Zuhailah,
Khairul Anwar, Muhammad Khabir Hakim, Muhammad Adib,
Muhammad Nur Iman or issit Nur Muhammad Iman?, Nur Iman Izam, Muhammad Afiq,
Nadia Shah, Sim Mei yi, Jolene Chua,
Innova JC 2nd Students' Council,
0612a

ok, a little late for vdae. but yeah. jus here to tell those ppl i love. that i love em and i wud jus wan see all of em happy. *smiles*

My dad set off to USA baltimore maryland jus now at 4am
haish

hes not gonna be with me wen i take my A level results
I NEVER take any results without him

ahhhhh

2008-02-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

hey
argh
my daddy leaving for US on saturdae
*sobs*
ahhhhhhhhhh

todae was ok
jus been getting headaches and flu these 2 daes.
and my eyes hurt like mad
work was as usual lah
im getting sick of my neighbourhood
its like e same everydae
i came to a realisation
i will never meet anyone
gosh

todae e kids were cute
they jus came back frm health zone talk at sci centre
they learnt abt puberty
LOL
veh veh funny lah!
the p5 boys
they were so excited
they were like explaining to me abt guys puberty
lol
then they say got "ejection" supposedly "erection"
then they say their *ahem* will become veh stiff
LOL
i was laughing and laughing and laughing
then got one ask me wads wet dreams
then he ask "teacher, is it shi shi?"
LOL
IM STILL LAUGHING NOW

2008-02-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

i got a big huge humongous gigantic butt. dun ask my why i say it. cos i know it

ahhh finally i saw the light
then someone jus had to dampen my enlightened self
now my spirits are all broken again
thanks mom
urgh
results.studies.
its driving me mad

maybe im made by god to be disappointed
i dunno
maybe tts e reason for my being

heard results are coming out soon
GREAT
another one

i dont believe in true love
i dont believe in love at first sight
i dont believe in dreams coming true
i dont believe u can actually meet ur goals
i dont believe tt friendships are important(cos ive seen ppl throw it all away)
i do believe in fairies, i do! i do!
kk tt was random

2008-02-06T22:15:00.000+08:00

Haish
sometimes u jus need someone to be ur shining star
when your day is all cloudy
you jus need someone to jus brightened up ur dae
sometimes u jus dun need
another addition to e dark cloud.
really i guess
i tried to be everyone's shining star
i really did
im sorry ive been lousy at it
but sometimes
i do need someone to brighten up ma dae
im not askin for too much am i?
maybe i am.
but pls sometimes
pls jus dun
jus dun add to e bulk on my shoulder
i do want ppl to share with me
im glad i cud help
but i do want someone to be there for me too

To my darlings this is especially for u gals (u know who u are):

Oh, why you look so sad?

The tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now

Don't, be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through '

Cause I've seen a dark side too

When the night falls on you

You don't know what to do

Nothing you confess

Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you

I won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad get mad

Don't hold it all inside

Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?

I get angry too

*Well, I'm a lot like you

When you're standin' at the crossroads

And don't know which path to choose

Let me come along

'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you

I won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby

You're feelin' all alone

You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you

I won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you

Oh, I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

2008-02-03T21:10:00.000+08:00

sometimes u jus feel that life isn't fair right?
well we haf to face the fact tt it isnt
so stop whining
life isnt made to be fair to u
it isnt
life is jus meant for us to overcome obstacles
there is no happily ever after
there is no the truth will set u free
things jus get worse.
so stop this one dae you will be happy nonsense
yes u will be happy
but life is a roller coaster afterall
face it
well in fact i cant
im still like a small girl
still hopelessly believing in happily ever after
still believe in dreams coming true
well grow up, rabia

gosh i tink a lot of things haf been getting on my nerves lately
i feel so drained
i feel tt i sucked at my job
at being a person
and at being a fren
gosh

i jus wish my frens are happy
i really do
if my happiness haf to be sacrificed
i tink i am ok with it
its not fair
they are much better people than me
they are much much better
they shud haf all the happiness
even if i dun haf tt much of happiness
im willing to share mine
but wad happiness do i haf?
i dunno
wadever it is
i hope my frens, my aunt and parents are happy
i really wish they are
for i really love em with all my heart

2008-02-01T20:08:00.000+08:00

hissshhhh
had a nightmare last nite
arhhhh
so traumatising
i actually felt damn relieved wen i woke up
tt it actually haven happen yet
god help me

haish i tink im a bad teacher
i dunno
i tink e centre do better without me

2008-01-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

i love kids
i love mixing ard with em
i love talkin to em
i love pinching em
i love huggin em
i love poking their chubby cheeks
i love kids
but i HATE nagging and making em do their homework
conclusion:
I CANNOT be a teacher

to you:
hey you
i know u are very upset now
i do love you
i really really do
you know u are my dear darling girlfren
my bestie.
wadever happened
tt person is shit
pardon my language
pardon my misjudgement
im sorry i encouraged you
hes a BIG JERK
i never met anyone who is tt bad
i cant believe its u who had to feel all this
im so so so sorry
i do not want you to get hurt gal
you dun deserve this
you really dun
i really wish it was me instead
i really do
i love you girl
remember wad those 2 mr wise men said
let this be a lesson learned

2008-01-24T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hmmm
O level results came out todae
wow
all e ppl i know did really well
congrats ppl
*smiles*
envy u all
rau's sis, mahirah, my bro who got his O level malay and another of my dad's bestie's son fantastic

hmmm
Im so so so so so exhausted and lethargic lately
tink this job is really taxing and Strenuous
oh well but i tink e kids as hooliganic and blood sucking as they are,
they are still lovable
but i tink i jus get tooo tired
yeap
i tink if i haf this job for a long time,
i will get premature white hair and wrinkles
i wud haf to start buying anti-wrinkle creams
instead of anti-pimple creams.
and i will buy hair dyes to cover white hair
intead of for liking it. LOL
but its TRUE
ok here are some pics of e little kids.

shermond made me a bookmark with ma name on it

shawn gave me an ang pao with a pic he drew in it

and jovian gimme a sticker

maybe its this little things tt means so much i guess

but its still too exhausting

tts shermond he loves takin pic of himself. trust me he ask me to take his pic and he got take a few of himself as well with ma hp.

see wad i mean by little monkeys?

this he takes himself

this is samuel. damn cute and NAUGHTY

my fav is jun wei and shermond and samuel
shermond obviously loves sucking up to e teachers
but jun wei who is not in any of e pics,
is a real good boy
and he reminds me of my fav character
in my fav chi show
tian wai fei xian
or something like tt
Dong Yong
played by my fav Hu Ge
really hes great
and hes freakin smart
came out top of his sch last yr.
lol
hes teaching me chinese
haha
lol and samuel.
hes real cute
if hes sad rite
he will haf this HUGE upside down smile
and he wun talk
look damn sad
haha
we play cathing wen i send him to sch

okie..
i tink ive been irritable lately
i got soooo irritated easily
had a tiff with ma mom
shant elaborate
yap
haish
i need a break
i need a breather
im lethargic
i shant complain
but i am
i know there are other ppl more tired than me
and not complaining
i guess im jus not used to it

oh yeah
ma daddy is accepting a job transfer with
John Hopkin's hosp in USA!
wooooo
now waiting for confirmation
i wan follow
i wan go princeton
but see how
i know my dad for sure gg
and SEE my A levels results.
gosh

and now i wish
maybe its nice to be doted on
i wish i am being doted on
but i never got it
wen u are most tired and insecure and need some love,
i guess i do need something to pick me up
im sick being e person whos doting
not e one being doted
haish.
but of course. i do love doting my loved ones

2008-01-20T20:34:00.000+08:00

hey hey
todae was quite ok i guess
had tuition in the morn
then met up with el
then went home to watch my chinese show to watch my darling Hu Ge.

yeappp
i realised that my cousin is a romeo
lol
i shant go deeper into that

ouh my feet hurts
lol
oh i know why am i so happy now
cos ytd i bought lotsa nice notebooks with kam and ain
i LOVE notebooks
dun ask me why
now i need to save money to buy organizer
yeap
need one lah

oh yeah my mommy and daddy bought me e blouse i saw ytd
YES!
thanks!!!!

2008-01-20T14:23:00.000+08:00

hey hey...
finally had a nice dae
a really fun dae
with ain and kam!
thanks so much for everything gals!
lovely!!!

YAY!
haha *grins*